Wow! It's been a long time.
Lots of things for me have changed in the year I've been gone. Another school year is approaching, I've grown and matured in many different ways I think, and most recently, I've loved and lost.
That one's hard for me right now. I know as a teenager it's a common problem, but after nine months with this guy it's a hard new reality to face. Why things ended, I'd rather keep confidential, but there were problems that ended up spiraling out of control, so we ended it. We're both not quite sure how to cope right now, but at the very least we've decided that space is a good thing.
And so, whether or not we want it to, life continues to go on.
I like to see this whole ordeal as a tree you watch pass your car on a road trip: it comes quickly, passes quickly, but you can still see it for a little while if you look back. But while you're looking back, other trees are passing you by, and some may be grander than the one you're focusing on.
But do you know that? Nope! You're still worried about the tree that passed by a long time ago. There's no going back to it, the only direction the car moves is forward. You can worry about that tree all you want, but it's gone. And so therefore the most you can do is continue to look forward. Who knows? There are plenty of other trees to see, and some may be even better and more beautiful than the one you wasted so much time missing.
That's the allegory I'm living by right now (The Parable of the Passing Tree... I like it!) I can be as worried about this broken relationship as I want. But while I'm looking back, other, more beautiful things, may be passing me by. There's nothing I can do to go back. Maybe someday in the future him and I could try again, but what's happened is now written in stone, and there's nothing I can do to change any of that.
So why should I worry? Why should I look back at something I can't change, when I have so much new future to write out, so many more beautiful trees to see (so to speak, referring back to my parable)? There is so much more to life that I can look forward to, so much so that, yeah, maybe it'll be hard for me to not look back for a little while, but it shouldn't keep me from looking towards all the wonderful things that come my way for long.
It's going to be hard for a while, but nonetheless. The car of life moves forward, and so the most we can do is love and appreciate the trees while we can, and love the new ones that come our way.
